You are a gift.

Tie a pretty bow around yourself, because you are a gift! Now, take care of it.

There’s s a vision or picture painted of motherhood we exalt in our conversations and on social media, and it’s the standard we are all living up to. The more you sacrifice, the more exhausted you are, and the more you put everyone else’s needs before your own, the better a mother you are.

She stays up all night with a baby, slaves away on a school project after putting in hours at the office, painstakingly plans beautiful birthday parties, she cooks, she cleans, and she gets the ring all the while sacrificing her own mental, physical and emotional energy in favor of everyone else’s needs..

But I have come to believe that being a great mother is more complicated than simply sacrificing yourself on the altar of your family. The book Raising Happiness by Christine Carter discusses the “extensive research” which shows the correlation between a mother’s overall happiness and that of her children. While we might slave away to ensure our children have every convenience modern times will allow, the happiest children are those raised in HAPPY homes with HAPPY parents who exude love, joy and satisfaction with the blessings they have been given.

It’s not because of genetics; happy parents simply have more of themselves to give to their children.

It’s the same reason you should put your oxygen mask on first if the plane is going down – you can’t help those around you if you can’t breathe.

You are a beautiful gift! It’s true, you are such a gift to those around you and especially your family. But who wants a ragged and worn down gift? Take care of YOU..

Self Care looks different for everyone. I dislike that social media makes you feel like you have to go on a lavish and expensive trip to Bora Bora, or drop your kids off every weekend to your in loves or sitter, spend all your husbands hard earned money (which I enjoy doing occasionally lol) , and etc.

When in reality, this isn’t everyone’s reality! My schedule and Husband’s schedule doesn’t allow much leisure time. So, I have to become creative with implementing self care tactics/stress relievers for myself. Here are a few suggestions or a few things I do for self care.

  1. My house is never quiet especially during the pandemic and everyone is home. Peace and quiet is my most treasured self care routine. I wake up around 5-6am just to meditate, read, prep dinner, or complete whatever personal task that needs to be completed. This eliminates the stress of trying to get things done with kids running around.

  2. Take a long bubble bath. There is nothing like washing off a long day in a hot bubble bath ALONE lol. I turn on The Best of Anita Baker and indulge in peace.

  3. Schedule a routine bedtime for your kids (Sooooo important) !!! 8pm my kids are tucked away and that is My time and Daddy’s time. We watch our favorite shows and relax. Or watch your favorite show alone. For me I like to be snuggled up to him. Quality time is self care for me. He’s my peace.

  4. Schedule a pedi and mani

  5. Have coffee or lunch with a friend

  6. Get a babysitter and go out! Get all dolled up for a night and enjoy

  7. Have sex **this should’ve been number one lol (if you’re married )🤸🏽‍♂️🙃❤️ lol I know you’re tickled pink, but sex is a stress reliever and Honayyy these kids will stress you out! Some of y’all are stressed and uptight because you aren’t being fulfilled.

  8. Set aside a time to read your favorite book, blog post ( mine of course lol), or magazine

  9. Work on accomplishing something for YOU. Whether that’s a degree, a new business, or a craft

  10. A trip to Target (or your favorite store) ALONE

  11. I enjoy going to lunch or dinner and getting a table for ONE. Learning to enjoy your own company is the epitome of self care.

  12. If all else fails revert to number 7 lol Made you laugh. Xoxo 💋

You’re the gift. Take care of it. Nourish it. Never leave it empty.

Thank you for reading.


I’m a lover of blogs and bloggers. Truly blogs have offered me so many great ideas, a comforting reassurance that I’m not “alone” in this mothering journey, and a source of community over the past years.

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