There seems to be this stigma. If a woman has a certain standard for her partner financially then she must be a gold digger.
If she is being pursued by a presumably "good man" but she opts out of dating him for financial reasons then she must be shallow. If she chooses not to give her body to a man that can't afford to take her out for a meal then she is just in it for the money.
Well, I call bull shit!
There is nothing wrong with having expectations for your life partner and yes that even means financial expectations. Things in life cost money. Your mortgage, your car note, utilities, child care, they all cost real money. Not a hope and a dream money... actual cash.
How selfish is it of a man to peruse a woman when he doesn't have his finances in tact. If you can't afford to date.... then don't date. It's as simple as that.
It isn't shallow or gold digging to want a partner that can help you. Not to take care of you but help to ease some of the burden.
Why should I share something so precious with someone that I can't build a future with. True love does not request access to your body while simultaneously avoiding any responsibility to care for you emotionally and financially.
That is not love. That is lust.
Now let's be clear. Anyone at anytime can fall on hard times. People lose their jobs, people get hurt and no longer can work. Many life circumstances can change your finances.
Of course if my husband fell on hard times I would be there to pick up the slack as well as encourage him because being broke is as hard for him as it is for me. I would of course be his peace of mind, praying for and with him while reminding him that he can get back on his feet because I've seen him do it before.
What I can not do is enter the relationship with a man that isn't financially stable. I don't know his work ethic. I haven't seen him reach any of his goals. How can I have faith in him, he's a stranger to me.
A broke stranger.
I am not putting myself in a situation to be miserable. Money is an important factor in all relationships and you are kidding yourself if you think otherwise.
I am very capable of taking care of myself but i deserve someone who can come in and help to lift some of the burden. I'm not saying I'm a gold digger, I'm just not messing with no broke n***a.