Some women take on the role of being single with great poise and finesse. I don’t know any of these women personally but I feel like they do exist. I on the other hand hate being single. I hate dating. The thought of forcing myself to get up, get dressed, and pretend to be interested in mundane conversation all feels like a chore. I honestly would prefer to do the dishes. No really, my dishes need done, my laundry needs washing and I have lesson plans to write! Taking hours out of my day …any day… to date just isn’t ideal. Still, as day turns into night and my son is either fast asleep or at his dads, I become lonely.
That indescribable feeling in my chest resurfaces. That feeling that lets me know that something is missing. My mind always tells me that missing feeling is my life partner, somewhere out in the world journeying to find me. But is it?
I am a firm believer in human beings writing their own story. I literally look at my life as different chapters in a book, and truth be told I don’t care to have a love interest show up in this chapter of my story. I have so much to do that I know I would slack on if I were distracted by romantic love. If I had to write my story (which I believe I do) this chapter would be called “The Resurrection”, or maybe “Finding Purpose”, perhaps I’d call it “Chasing My Dreams”, or simply put “Becoming”.
Hell, I don’t know what I would call it, but I know it would have nothing to do with being in a relationship. I’m still recovering from my last break up. I am still trying to dig through the layers of hurt to restore my truths. I have work to do. Yeah that’s what I would call this chapter, “I Have Work To Do”.
Knowing this, why do I still yearn for romance? And I don’t mean romance in the sense of red roses, poetry, and candle lit bubble baths. I mean partnership, my best friend who I kiss good night, every night. Even though I know I need to take my time before getting into another relationship, sometimes…..a lot of times….most times I’m still hoping he’s just right around the corner and the journey will be over.
So tell me….how to be single and happy.