Here we are eleven days into the new year and I have yet to write a blog post. I write almost daily, I just haven’t shared it. One reason being, I don’t want my writing to be forced, I write what I feel. The second reason being I haven’t been willing to share this part of the journey, not fully. Not with anyone ….but God.
I am in a space where I am transitioning out of one phase and into another. I’m not certain…of anything…except that wherever I am, wherever I end up, God will take care of me. That is the only thing that I know with certainty. Everything else is up in the air.
Its hard to write about what I don’t know and I feel like at this point in the journey I am relearning EVERYTHING!
I am learning how to live, not just be…but be alive. I am learning how to navigate through this human experience. How to feel… things that bring me pleasure and the things that bring me pain, because they are both a part of our lives here on this earth, and they are equally as meaningful.
What I am learning the most right now is how to love unconditionally, everyone and everything. What I have learned thus far is that unconditional love starts with me. I can’t give to someone else what I do not have for myself.
I always thought of myself as someone with a lot of confidence, if someone asked me if I loved myself I’d respond “of course”. But I am now realizing what loving myself unconditionally really looks like. Loving myself includes fighting against my ego, fighting against temptation because I know I deserve the very best, advocating for myself, being everything for myself that I would want another human being to be for me.
It’s a process.
I am happy to be on the journey.
Its like experiencing everything for the first time again, I see so much more clearly. Everything is new.
I am overflowing with gratitude.
Today was one of those days. I just couldn’t get my energy right. It didn't help that the moon is in cancer tonight heightening all of my emotions. Causing me to seek love.
And so I write, because writing is what I love.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. ~1 Corinthians 13:12